going, going GONE!!!!

(A young man, Parker, runs into a backyard full of junk. He is running from some punk gang. An old man, Barn, is swinging on a swing reading a book entitled "christ is near" while he fiddles with an hatchet in one hand. Barn is reading the part about the mark in the shap of an apple behind the ear as a sign of christ. Barn sees Parker run into his backyard. They make eye contact. Parker gestures without talking a plea to not say anything as he quickly pulls top off of metal trash can and crouches in and pulls top back over. The old man notices a mark behind his ear. His evil glare quickly turns into a wink. Suddenly three psycho punks also brothers, Whip, Skip, and Flip run into Barn's backyard.)

Whip: Hey man... you see a dude come through here?

Barn: Yeah.

Skip: Well???

Barn: Well??

Whip: Which way did he go?

Barn: Oh yeah.. He's ah.. his in that trashcan there.

Whip: Flip, go over there and get that fucking bitch! (Flip walk over to the trash can and goes for lid when suddenly Barn swings an hatchet at him cutting his hand clean off.) What the fuck!!

Barn: I never said you could touch a damn thing around here did i? thats PRIVATE PROPERTY!!!! (Flips hops around in pain) You boys think you can just do whatever you want. Where's your manners?

Whip: Fuck you Old man!!.. Shoot him Skip! (skip pulls gun from denim jacket, points it at Barn and shoots. Then suddenly Skip's ear is blown completely off. They look at Barn in a daze) How the fuck???

Barn: I was in the War. Gotta METAL CHEST!!! (laughs) get the hell outta here before someone loses something else!

Cut to: Parker inside trashcan. He hears bullets fly and all kinds of chaos and screaming as the trashcan wobbles around. Then suddenly it all stops. The lid comes off of the trashcan and it's Barn looking down at him.

Barn: Hey there kid, how you doin'? 

Parker: Are they gone?

Barn: Oh yeah they are gone alright. One of em didn't make it though. He's all over the yard. If you don't mind (pulls Parker out of can) I would like your help picking up the pieces. (Parker looks out over yard in horror)

Parker: Uh...yeah.. sure.  

Barn: Come on, lets hurry. i'm guessin' there will be more to come. We gotta hang some of these parts up on the front porch, By the way.. My name is Barn...What's yours?

Parker: Parker

Barn: Parker huh... well parker.. it's nice to meetcha, but from now on your name is Jesus ya hear.

Parker: What? Jesus Christ!! what the fuck is wrong with everybody!!!

Barn: Hey don't be taking your own name in vein kiddo.. That aint right!!

Parker: But.....

Barn: Come on we ain't got much time. We gotta get the show on the road. My wife will be home soon. We all need to sit down and figure out what we are gonna do over a nice hot turkey.. Unless of course your in the mood for some leg (holds up a leg from one of the punks and looks at it licking his lips. Parker becomes sick!) Oh i'm just screwing with ya, I don't eat folks raw.... i'm a good christian. I cook it first!